From the "Say what you mean" Department

Heard today on ad spots on the radio:

Stacked high with melted cheese... (make sure you're seated in our 'zero-gravity' section, or else you'll just have a puddle of gloppy cheese)

Kills bugs dead for weeks... (and after those weeks are up? Are they resurrected so they can come back and annoy you again?)


- posted by Stephanie @ 9:36 AM

 
Blinded By The Light

Oofta! My eyes hurt! But I guess now I have a better reason for it than the one I had this morning.

I've been babying a dying computer monitor for months. Here a ripple, there a flicker, everywhere a flash-flash...

I'd been holding out for... well, really, I don't know what. A miracle, maybe? (ZAP! You are healed-dah!) But, since no televangelist seemed to be forthcoming after months of waiting, and the flashing and flickering was alternately giving me headaches and making me sleepy, I finally broke down and bought a new one.

I had no idea just how bad the old beast had become. Dim and slightly out of focus has a way of growing on ya, I guess. I'm amazed at the clarity and crispness this new one has. But ack! It's so bright! I feel like a mole who accidentally found his way to the surface on a hot August afternoon. In the middle of a treeless park in Phoenix. I'll just have to learn to type with sunglasses on 'til I get used to it.

It's nothing flashy or special, this new viewscreen (but - yay! - it is encased in black plastic, so it won't show as much yucky, staticky - is that a word? - dirt). I've learned not to bother. I kill 'em all, expensive or el cheapo. I also wipe out the little stripe on my bank card if I keep it in my pocket, and I've been known to nullify credit cards (try using that as your excuse to those pesky credit card peddlars at department stores or at the mall. "No thanks, I'm not safe with a credit card. I short-circuit them.") I also replace an obscene amount of watch batteries (I should buy Energizer stock to support my, uh, habit) and if I wear my cellphone on my hip, a three-day battery charge is gone in just over two hours. I can even somehow manage to generate static walking in bare feet. On tile. One of these days, I'll probably blow myself up at the gas station...

Uh-oh, I just had an awful thought... I stupidly bought a bellypack bag for my digital camera. I hope there's enough foam-rubber padding in there to keep it safe... from me. Ugh.

And now for the Great Big Smile and Utterly Thrilled Department. I was poking around my usual favorite places on the web and was absolutely delighted to find a photo I'd taken was posted as the intro icon photo for Def Leppard concert shots on The Def Leppard Satellite of Love.

Thanks, Mike! You really made my day!
- posted by Stephanie @ 12:32 AM

 
Barbie's Gotta Brand-New Bag

Barbie dolls have been given a wide range of professions over the years. She's been a doctor, a nurse, a flight attendant and a pilot, a veterinarian, and something vaguely executive that required her to wear a business suit and carry a sweetly-styled briefcase with a big ol' B emblazoned on the side. Just buy her a new outfit, dress her up and she's now got a new job. (Ya just gotta look the part, right?)

So I guess it was just a matter of time before America's favorite role-playing doll dabbled in the oldest profession. Short-shorts, a midriff-baring tank top with fishnet weave shirt overtop, no shoes, and a cute little crocheted head-hugging cap that looks sorta like a doily gone micro. And in big letters across the front of the box: Call Girl. "I wanna be a ho" Barbie?

I did a double-take. Oh, wait. It says Cali Girl. Coulda fooled me. I kept looking for the doll-sized cell phone for those incoming *ahem* assignments. Must be in her back pocket.

So now we know how she got all those clothes and cars and houses and boats...
- posted by Stephanie @ 12:13 AM

 
My Bent & Spindled Take On... Things

All right... I'll give it a go, this online-diary thingy. Seems like the current rage, putting one's thoughts and observations up on the 'net for all to see (or ignore) like they have some sort of profound importance.

Thing is, I've never really been big on 'joining' or one to follow the crowd (I think my 'different drummer' is playing a fandango or something), but what the hey. Maybe I'll amuse someone other than myself for a change. Or at least, when I'm snickering about something that tickled deep inside my brain and I can't explain without venturing off into a fit of laughter that prevents any recognizable words from coming out of my mouth, I'll at least have a place to put it so I can giggle over it again later.
- posted by Stephanie @ 1:09 AM